The Search for the Holy Grail

(of eyeliners)

Eyeliner is the only makeup I apply consistently if I'm going out.

"Going out" being any place I would not wear a pair of sweatpants to. Out to dinner? Eyeliner. Corner store where I only buy tortilla chips, tall boys, and Mucho Mangos? No eyeliner. Work? At least eyeliner. Gym? No eyeliner. In fact, I have face wipes in my gym bag specifically to take off any makeup. Target is the boundary line. Am I there to look like a functioning member of society carefully curating my possessions and household items or am I buying cheap necessities but could not bear going to Walmart?

Hands down, my favorite eyeliner is Stila's Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner at $22 a pop. With tax or shipping, let's call it $25 for something that if I use every day lasts about 3 months. Overall, that's a decent investment. But it is a high initial cost considering it is something that is not a necessity. $25 is a savvy week's worth of groceries. $25 is two co-pays to the doctors office. A Greyhound ticket from Albany to NYC is on average about $25. Buuuut...

This eyeliner has it all for me:

Doesn't smudge or flake
Water proof
Easy to remove
Perfect application (in terms of formula, applicator, and dry)

So I am willing to pay the $25 because it is a product that has value to me, particular brand delivers on all categories, and I can generally afford this price point. This should be the bottom line. However, one eyeliner in my entire household refilled every three months is not how I actually operate. I mean, I could and maybe I should, but there's a convenience factor in having multiple eyeliners and that's where the calculations of quantity over quality weighs in. Because as it stands, optimally I like having a main eyeliner, an emergency application eyeliner in my purse, an eyeliner that goes with my travel toiletries, and one at my partner's house. That's four eyeliners and $100 for the sake of vanity is where I draw the line.

Thus, my quest for the liquid eyeliner designer dupes. Here are my assessments in ascending order of quality.

5. Maybelline Hyper Precise All Day Liner: $8-$10

Pros: really good applicator, a pitch black color that dries matte, easy removal

Cons: smudges at every touch and doesn't last long

This was one of my first forays into finding cheaper, "drug store" alternatives for to replace my designer habit. I found it on countless "Best Eyeliners" lists online. This was the worst of the bunch and it was at the mid price range. For half the price of a Stila, it would follow that it should be be half as good. WRONG. I'll give it this, it went on like a dream. Inky black and the applicator as precise as it boasts, the Maybelline eyeliner let me get as fine and bold as I desired around my lid and into my cat's eye. That's when the dream ended however. I went to change my clothes and do some computer work and when I checked on it, the area beneath my wing had smudged. Although it seemed dry, I lightly touched it like I would if I were tired or my contacts felt dry and it immediately came off on my fingers. It looked awful, like the kind of smearing that you associate with a cartoon character crying and where their makeup runs dramatically to show what a mess they are. AVOID.

4. BH Cosmetics Liquid Eyeliner: $4.00-$7.00

Pros: Long-lasting, deep black color, lots of use, easy application

Cons: applies wet, smears and smudges, impossible to get off

The better dupes only ever hit half of the four categories of functionality the designer one nails. It makes the dupes serviceable. They get the job done and they often look good when on, but there's often one thing noticeably off with them. My deciding factor for whether to buy a product again is how it comes off. My pet peeve with the cheapest eyeliner dupes is that whatever they put in the formula to get the same stark black color and long lasting effect makes it impossible to get off. I typically use microfiber reusable makeup cloths or Burt's Bees makeup remover face wipes. I basically have to scrape the BH eyeliner off my face. Because it is water resistant, it smears everywhere instead of rubbing off and it smudges when you sweat or if it's hot and humid out. I wanted to love this. BH is such an affordable indie brand. It's so addictive to try their incredibly price accessible items. But at the end of the night I want my makeup to come off and not leave me looking like a raccoon that lost a fist fight.

3. e.l.f. Intense Ink Eyeliner: $4.00-$6.00

Cons: not waterproof, hard to remove

Pros: won't smudge or flake, easy application

This would be the second of my attempts of eyeliners at this price point. I like that there's a fat and thin marker. I prefer the fatter marker which lets me apply thick across the lid with the perfect tapered effects for the wingtip and thin at the inner corner. The super easy applicator is good because I do have to go over it a couple times to get that deep black. The easy to use applicator combined with the quick dry puts it above the BH eyeliner for me. Once it's on, it doesn't move at all. You could drag your finger across it and it would stay put. But it shares the same weakness in the removal. The e.l.f. one isn't as bad, but it does leave some residual dark smudging under my eyes that makes it look like I had a much harder night than I did. Wouldn't mind having this as my designated purse eyeliner, especially for that price.

2. L'Oréal Lineur Intense Felt-tip Liquid Eyeliner

Pros: great formula, comes off neatly

Cons: tougher application, doesn't wear long

This is currently what's serving as my purse eyeliner and made me a believer in buying cheaper drug store eyeliners for convenient on-the-go applications. This is the only non-pen applicator of the bunch. What you lose in ease for applying that wingtip, you gain in pigment. This is the blackest black of the dupe bunch cause you can saturate the tip with the little well it resides in by shaking or re-dipping. It goes on wet, but I've never had it fail the blink residue test. This also means it goes on top of eye shadow really well. It doesn't stand up to much rubbing, but when it does come off, it flakes off, which I think is a plus because it doesn't leave a smudgy mess behind. Usually at the end of a long day, whereas the Stila will still be staying on strong, the L'Oréal wing will have worn off, leaving the lid line mostly intact and my look at least neat. And unlike some other dupe felt pens, this one comes off with an easy swipe of my makeup cloths.

#1 BONUS MVP. Miniso Hello Kitty 24-Hour Eyeliner: $1.25

Cons: NONE because this is $1 and does everything Stila can

Why this is a "bonus" is because I'm not sure you can buy it in the US and if you can, it won't be a buck per piece. I found this Hello Kitty liquid eyeliner at the two Miniso stores in the Mall of the World in Guangzhou, China in the summer of 2017 while I was interning. While there are Miniso stores in the US, I haven't been in one to confirm if they are stocked and can't find them online either. It was basically a cross between the two pictured where instead of the Bad Badtz-Maru label, it had a Hello Kitty head. I think the Hello Kitty only lasted two months of intense usage instead of the three from Stila, but I reiterate, WHO CARES THIS SHIT IS A DOLLAR! If I could have, I would have stock-piled this shit and smuggled it into the US. But even though there were two stores, it sold out fast (which popular products are liable to do in a city of 12.3 million). I only managed to grab maybe ten of these in the last two weeks in my time in China and those got handed out pretty quickly to all my female friends as I proselytized the glory of Japanese dollar store Hello Kitty makeup.

Guangzhou in the summer had more humidity than I've experienced in Florida, DC, or Phuket. I existed constantly damp and with a permanent sheen. But that eyeliner stayed put! It was a makeup fever dream I am still chasing. If I didn't watch the makeup episode of Broken on Netflix, I would be soliciting for eyeliner mules RIGHT NOW. Alas, I'll stick with Stila and Colourpop but keep dreaming of Hello Kitty.

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